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“Reducing the Threat of Sexual Violence”

Children and Sexual Violence

    Most people believe that a normal looking, well educated person would never molest a child. This dangerous misconception allows child perpetrators access to trusted roles in our children’s lives. Child perpetrators admit to leading a double life. Many seek positions in society that allow them to work closely with children. Publicly they are responsible and caring. They are charming and likeable perfecting the ability to radiate a facade of sincerity and truthfulness causing parents to drop their guard.
     Most child perpetrators will not molest every child they come in contact with. A process of gaining trust of the child and parents is sought before committing any offense. Children with family problems, who lack confidence, or are indiscriminately trusting are chosen for a process of “grooming” in which the perpetrator skillfully manipulates the child into participating in sexual activities.
     The offender often will find reasons to spend time with the child alone, isolating them from peers and siblings to expel favoritism on them. Often telling the child they have a special relationship that no one else would understand. Once a child looks to the perpetrator for care, love, affection or guidance, they become vulnerable to the demands of the abuser. Younger children without the ability of language or knowledge to understand what is happening to them are at a higher risk from perpetrators.  
     To manipulate a child the offender aims at desensitizing the child by using normal situations for opportunities to introduce abusive behavior. Touching may be “accidental” at first to test how the child will react. Blurring the boundaries of normal affection is the way a perpetrator keeps a child confused. Times a child is most vulnerable are while bathing, dressing or sleeping. Throughout the abuse the perpetrator is constantly assessing whether the child will remain quiet and keep the abuse a secret. Actions overtime often increase in severity with the offender using different tactics to sustain the abusive relationship. Some ways perpetrators will manipulate are:

References:

Predators: Pedophiles, rapists and other sex offenders: Who they are, how they operate, and how we can protect ourselves and our children. by Salter, A. C.

Child Sexual Abuse and the "Grooming" Process, Pandora's Project